Ten Easy Etiquette Tips

Etiquette is an essential part of elegant living. However, using etiquette is not about memorizing the works of Emily Post, but rather, being thoughtful about your behavior. Below is a list of my favorite etiquette tips that can help you polish up your life, not just tell you how to hold a fork and knife!

Smile often -- Smiling makes you look more kind and welcoming. You don’t have to smile all the time, but make sure you do so when you are greeting someone or talking to someone. As I once learned in cotillion, it takes more work to frown than it does to smile, so your face will thank you.

Write Thank You cards -- Every time you receive a gift or have a job/college interview, send a thank you note right away. Thank You cards are a lost art, and are extremely appreciated by anyone who receives one. It shows that you took the time to really process what that person did for you, and that you are showing your gratitude with a special and personal note. Unlike a text or email, a handwritten note is much more personal and sophisticated -- and much more valued. Bonus: if you really want to make someone feel special, go and get some custom stationery. That way, you can have a set of cards with an extra personal touch.

Have good time management -- Always be respectful of other people’s time. If you are going to an appointment or in a school setting, always be early so that you can check in or get settled. The only time it is acceptable to be late is when attending a party. In this case, it is actually considered rude to be early, as the host is probably putting the last finishing touches on everything. Therefore, arrive 10 mins late, giving the host plenty of time to get things together.

Don’t brag -- To me, there is no act that is as rude as bragging. Don’t brag about your GPA, your abundant list of extracurricular activities, or your great social life. No one wants to hear it. If anything, it makes one look extremely insecure, the exact opposite of their intent. All it takes is common sense to keep these things to yourself. If you are truly confident, this will be easy to do. If not, find self-assurance from within. Remember, people are not impressed by bragging. Instead, they are most likely irritated.

Accept compliments -- If someone says that they like your top, say “Thank you so much. That is so sweet of you.” rather than something like, “Oh, this gross thing? I just found it in the back of my closet and decided to put it on.” While it may seem like you are just being humble, you are actually offending a person’s judgment when you decline a compliment. Always say thank you, and don’t feel obligated to return the compliment. Unless you mean it, it may come across as insincere.

When you are talking to someone, be sure to make eye contact with them -- If you don’t, the conversation will feel awkward and uncomfortable. Making eye contact shows that you are comfortable in the conversation, and that you are actively listening. However, it’s ok to take a quick glance somewhere else for a second if your eyes need a break. Also, it can look unnatural if you hold it for too long, so be sure to look to the side if you need to.

Try to listen rather than talk, and always ask questions -- There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who just goes on and on about themselves and doesn’t even ask you one simple question. I have met many, many people in my life who talk at me rather than with me. They are not really listening to what I’m saying, so they don’t even know what to respond with or ask. So, they usually ignore what you said and keep on talking about themselves. In order to avoid being this person, really listen to what someone has to say when they are talking to you. Luckily for me, for the most part, I like to listen rather than talk, so active listening is not something that is hard for me to do. If you like to do most of the talking, I suggest channeling this towards asking questions instead. Not only will you learn more about other people, but they will also feel valued and respected that you are curious about them.

Don’t disturb people with your phone -- There is nothing worse than someone blasting music or talking loudly on their phone in a public place. Others do not need to hear your offensive lyrics or drama with a friend. If you really want to listen to music, put on headphones. However, be sure that they are quiet enough so that others can’t hear the music. If you need to talk on the phone, do so quietly and in as private a place as possible.

Be humble -- This is an important one. Many people think that dressing up and liking nice things makes you snooty, but it’s the exact opposite. Being humble is being discreet and private about one’s successes. You can carry a Chanel bag and still be low-key about the A you got on a math test.

Be positive and enthusiastic -- Bring positivity to any person you interact with. Even if you’re having a bad day, it’s not the problem of the person you are with. Grace everyone with a smile and a warm presence. When you walk into a room, always make sure you feel that it is a better place when you leave it.